SOME WAYS TO RESOLVE FEELING INADEQUATE

SOME WAYS TO RESOLVE FEELING INADEQUATE

Most of us have struggled with feelings of inadequacy at some time or other in our lives. Maybe we were nervous about being a good parent or down about not getting a job we wanted. For some people, however, that inadequate feeling is pervasive and becomes their default feeling, only retreating temporarily when something great happens to overshadow it. No one should have to live on that roller-coaster, and with the following techniques, it is more than possible to get off of it.

Psychologists have long attributed persistent or recurring feelings of inadequacy to childhood experiences. We’re not born feeling inadequate, but children who are told they are at a young age start thinking “There must be something wrong with me”, and as they grow older those feelings become ingrained in their psyches.

Another, less mentioned, way feelings of inadequacy can manifest themselves is when neurodivergent people, for example people on the autism spectrum, slip through the cracks and don’t get diagnosed or supported. They can spend their childhoods feeling “weird” or “wrong” because they don’t fit in and the feeling follows them into adulthood.

Whichever the source, it’s important to get a handle on these insidious feelings before they take up too much more of your time. You are too valuable to spend any more time feeling suffocated by inappropriate nagging doubts of your ability! Here are 5 simple yet effective ways to keep those feelings at bay, and practicing them on a regular basis can force your brain to get and stay out of that self-depreciating habit.

Here Are Some Of The Ways To Resolve Feeling Inadequate:

1) Imagine yourself as a child during the earliest time you felt inadequate and “talk” to yourself as an adult would if they knew what was going through your head. The encouraging words will make it evident that it was not your fault and the feeling of inadequacy was not related to an actual case of being inadequate.

2) Imagine how you would think of someone else if they were in your situation. You aren’t the only person who’s ever been passed over for a job. Is everyone else inadequate as well?

“Lighten up on yourself. No one is perfect Gently accept your humanness”- Deborah Day.

3) Just like any other time a negative emotion feels overwhelming, use your body to flood that suffocating feeling with oxygen. Go for a jog or do another type of activity that will force you to step out of your head for a little while. Exercise can take the edge off of almost anything.

4) Stand in the “power pose”- chest high, legs slightly apart, and hands on hips for 2 minutes, taking deep breaths. Initial studies showed the power pose increased the “confidence” hormone, testosterone. Those results are mixed, but repeated studies have consistently shown that it does make people feel more powerful, and when you feel powerful, it's pretty hard to feel inadequate.

“Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the face.”- Helen Keller

5) Remind yourself of times when you’ve overcome adversity by solving a problem or improving a situation. Remember that feeling.

Depending on how deep-rooted your feeling of inadequacy is, it might take several times for these exercises to become habits. Of course, sometimes it’s appropriate to feel doubt about your ability when the task is obviously beyond your skill or education, but these exercises will help you think logically and get your brain out of the habit of defaulting to self-doubt. Use these tips to banish those incompetent feelings, and let your brain see yourself the way you really are: just as capable as anyone else!

A Rather Sad Story

A Rather sad story.

Yesterday at about 5pm, at Asokoro, I saw, by Ecowas building, a young woman of about 26 years roaming the streets and speaking to herself. She was obviously mad, newly mad. Her clothes were just dirty, not torn yet, she had an afro hairdo, and she had a bag.

In that girl, a saw a soul crying for help. She could be my sister, your sister or even anyone's daughter. So I approached her. She spoke well, an evidence of good breeding. But then after being initially friendly, she became very hostile when I began to probe her. My intention was to see if i could get info to enable me reach her people. She wouldn't or couldn't tell. All she would say is that she is from London and her name, Chika. Of course, this information from her, may or may not be true.

So I left her, as it was getting late. This early morning I mobilised my staff and we got cracking. Some went in search of her on the streets of while I went online in search of a psychiatric hospital or unit. We drew a blank. But luckily after physical visits to all government hospitals in Abuja, we finally found one at Karu.

Meanwhile those searching the streets for her could only locate her at about 4pm in the evening being that she is mobile and ambulatory.

To cut a long story short, I can now report that the lady in this pix is now safely admitted in the psychiatric hospital. It wasn't easy but she has been admitted with me registered as her next of kin. And she is responding to treatment. She is simply suffering from treatable mental illness and no one should be abandoned the way our society seems to abandon the mentally ill. Sure, it cost me time and money, but it is worth every bit of it.

We still have not been able to get any information from her regarding her family or her people. So please, contact me via inbox if you know her.

Meanwhile, can we all share very widely until someone can identify her and come for her. It is very likely that her people are also searching for her.

~ Ray Ugba Morphy

(Please share after reading )

MANNERS IN PUBLIC LIFE

*MANNERS IN PUBLIC LIFE*

GOOD MANNERS IN A CELEBRATION WITH BUFFET (SERVE YOURSELF)

*1. Do Not Be Wasteful:*

Take what you can finish, while considering others so that it could reach them.

*2. Stay In Turn:*

Making use of turns means that you should wait till it gets to your turn before you go to dish out your food. While taking your turn, try to fast about it to avoid people waiting for you.

*3. Eat Your Food In A Sitting Position Maintaining Your Table Manners:*

After dishing out your food, gently locate your seat, be seated before you start eating what you have collected.

*4. Observe A Personal Hygiene:*

Do not presume that all is washed. Make sure you wash your hands and rinse the cutleries.

*5. Do Not Take Away:*

No need of taking things away. Eat what you can eat, but always  maintaining a good eating habits. Do not eat or drink to excess. Exercise your freedom responsibly in a party with buffet.

THE TRUTH YOU NEED TO KNOW FOR PEACE AND HAPPINESS

*THE TRUTH YOU NEED TO KNOW FOR PEACE AND HAPPINESS*

We're all beautiful human beings here in this world trying to find our way.

Every day we seek to better understand the meaning of our lives. We long to discover our gifts and release them fully into the world, and we hope to find happiness and peace along the way.

For some of us these desires ring loud and clear, driving what we do and how we do it.

For others, these deep seeded needs are buried below the noise of daily life, below ego, below fear, below the pressures and norms that we face in society… and thus, they are rarely addressed.

In all cases, the peace and happiness they discover and gradually develop internally is seeded by the realization of certain fundamental truths.

It seems we are all here to realize these truths, in our own way, in our own time. And once they resonate fully, not just intellectually, but emotionally and spiritually, we are then able to find the peace and happiness we seek, no matter what…

*1. It’s Impossible For Anyone Else To Define YOU:*

You are indefinable. You are the only one in this world who gets to say who you are. Circumstances and the opinions of others can only define you if you allow them to. Do not give away your power and the magic of your essence by putting weight on negative situations in your life or the negative words of other people.

*2. You Were Born With Everything You Need:*

There is nothing you are missing. There is no need to frantically become more, be more, do more, or get more. You are whole and complete, and were gifted every talent and insight you needed to thrive in this world in the moment you were born. Your only job is to accept this truth and then allow it to unfold. Some gifts don’t become apparent until later in life. Some insights only become clear to you once you have life experiences that unlock such wisdom from within you. Trust in this and relax.

*3. You Are NOT Your Thoughts:*

You are the witnessing essence and consciousness behind the noise in your mind. Your mind doesn’t define you, nor does it control you. It is not who you are. As soon as you recognize this, by watching your thoughts like an intrigued third-party observer, you will create instant distance from those thoughts and therefore no longer be identified with or enslaved by them.

*4. Your Beliefs Can Be Modified To Lift You Up:*

Whatever you believe to be true about yourself and life in the long-term becomes your reality. Your beliefs are ingrained patterns of thinking that you build up over a lifetime. They are habitual ways of processing the world around you. If those beliefs don’t work in your favour, you can change them. How? In the very same way the negative beliefs formed in the first place – via repetitive thoughts that you accepted to be the truth.

*5. The Past And Future Don’t Exist:*

Now is the moment. The past is just a memory. The future is a mental projection. You can choose to dwell back in the past for learning and joyous reflection. You can choose to dwell in the future for visualization and practical planning. However, any time your awareness floats away to the past or future frequently for negative purposes, you are suffocating your ability to thrive in the only moment you ever have… the now.

With love, *Omasiri JM* is promising you the continuation of this.

THE IMPACTS OF SIN IN OUR HEARTS

*THE IMPACTS OF SIN IN OUR HEARTS*

Sin is simply defined as "any action, words, or thoughts" that is against the majestic and glorious power of God. We cannot assume the holiness of God in sin, that's why the scripture says, "nothing impure will enter the kingdom of God" (Rev. 21:27). Sin has great negative impact on our spiritual soul. Prophet Isaiah captures this very well "No, the arm of Yahweh is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear, but your guilty deeds have made a gulf between you and your God. Your sins have made him hide his face from you so as not to hear you. (Isaiah 59:1-2).

This seminar will not only lay claim to the negative impacts of sins to our souls, but will move on to discuss on how much a Christian can transcend sin, especially through thoughts, words, action.

We have two kinds of sin,  Original sin and actual sin. Original, because it owes from our first parents Adam and Eve. Their sins had a great impact to his offspring. We were tainted by sin. We received concupiscence (tendency to sin) from them. Humanity learnt disobedience, faithlessness, mistrust, impurity. But thanks be to Jesus, who restored man to righteousness. Jesus reversed what Adam did, because He obeyed even to death, faithful, trusted God and pure. With Baptism, we deal a mortal blow to Original sin. A Christian, even though has been cleansed of original sin has learnt something which is disastrous to his faith. This is why a Christian is encouraged to make effort to unlearn the impacts of original sin. He has the freedom to say "no" to sins. He has a befitting intelligence to deal with sin. As such "actual sin" is the sin committed after baptism of which he had the full knowledge of it, but went on to do it. (freedom and Intelligence).

In Actual sin, the Church further classified them into two; mortal and venial sin. Mortal sin is regarded as a grave sin and it kills the soul and would definitely lead the sinner to hell fire. One mortal sin is enough to lead one into hell. A sin is considered to be "mortal" when its quality is such that it leads to a separation of that person from God's saving grace.   The lists of mortal sin are found in transgressions against the decalogue (10 commandment), The sin against the Holy Ghost and the sins that cry to Heaven for vengeance, 7 capital sins etc. Venial sin does not kill the soul because it does not create strong aversion from God, but when not managed, will lead one to mortal sin.

Some Pentecostals so much repel the idea of sin classified. For them, there is nothing like mortal or venial sin, sin is sin. They quote James 2:10-11 which says "You see, anyone who keeps the whole of the Law but trips up on a single point, is still guilty of breaking it all."

On this we would all agree that every sin is evil before God whether mortal or venial, but this classification would help us to understand stages of spiritual growth. A person who is still struggling with mortal sin is really far away from God's love than the one who is only struggling with venial sins. In fact, St. James was not trying to talk about this distinction but to emphasize more of the deadly nature of mortal sin and how mortal sins are united. Take a look at the example he gave in verse 11, " He who said, 'You must not commit adultery' said also, 'You must not kill.' Now if you commit murder, you need not commit adultery as well to become a breaker of the Law." We can find this distinction well in 1 John 5:17 "Every kind of wickedness is sin, but not all sin leads to death."

DO YOU LEAVE THE TOILET SEAT UP WHEN YOU FLUSH? BE WARNED!

DO YOU LEAVE THE TOILET SEAT UP WHEN YOU FLUSH? BE WARNED!

Why you should always put the lid down when flushing the toilet: Scientist reveals poo particles and other droplets spread into the air and land all over your bathroom from walls to towels.

It's one of the most annoying customs in many relationships, when one forgets to put the lid down before flushing the toilet.

But now a scientist has waded into the years old debate and explained exactly why people have a reason to moan about the disgusting habit.

Charles Gerba, a professor of microbiology at the University of Arizona, said: 'You get a good spray out of the toilet area.

It's one of the most annoying customs in many relationships, when one forgets to put the lid down before flushing the toilet. It's one of the most annoying customs in many relationships, when one forgets to put the lid down before flushing the toilet. Not putting the toilet lid down before flushing the water allows a cloud of bacteria to explode into the air.

This showering of bacteria can settle on nearby surfaces in the bathroom, including toothbrushes, towels and even walls.

It can be known as the 'aerosol effect' to some scientists, but others refer to the unpleasant scenario as 'toilet plume'.

Experts warn that this increases the risk of viruses such as the winter vomiting bug, or norovirus, of transmitting to another person.

Jason Tetro, a visiting scientist at the University of Guelph, said each time you flush 'an aerosol is created due to the rush of water into the bowl'. He added: 'When this happens, any microbes deposited into said toilet may be sent into the surrounding environment.'

Mr Tetro is also the author of The Germ Files: The Surprising Way Microbes Can Improve Health and Life (and How to Protect Yourself From the Bad Ones).

Over the course of a day, the average person is believed to flush the toilet up to six times, according to Realtor.

This is the equivalent of 2,190 flushes - which can use up around 1.6 gallons (6l) - in an entire year.

Fortunately, newer low-flow toilets have lessened the chances of the 'aerosol effect' but a lot of older toilets are still in use and so the risk is still there.

Microbiologist Philip Tierno previously told Tech Insider: 'It is a good idea to lower the seat, especially if the bathroom is used by multiple people.'

This is because aerosol plumes can be transported up to 10 inches above a toilet seat when it is flushed - and remain in the air for up to an hour.

HAND DRYERS 'SUCK IN' BUGS FROM FLUSHING TOILETS 

Hot-air hand dryers in public bathrooms 'suck in' bacteria from flushing toilets, research suggested in April.

Dryers have long been known for their ability to disperse germs from people's hands on to surrounding surfaces.

However, the University of Connecticut findings imply less powerful versions actually bathe hands in bacteria circulating in bathrooms.

Trials showed 254 pathogen colonies grew within 18 hours of being blasted with dryer air for 30 seconds.

In comparison, just six colonies grew within the same time frame in a setting without hand dryers.

These bacteria can include MRSA, which can lead to life-threatening sepsis, pneumonia or toxic shock syndrome.

SEX AND THE SEARCH FOR INTIMACY

SEX AND THE SEARCH FOR INTIMACY

Find out how to love and be loved. Experience real intimacy in your relationships...

A friend, said that there is a syndrome, a pattern, when couples come to him. They say, "At first, sex was exciting. Then I started feeling funny about myself, and then I started feeling funny about my partner. We argued and fought and finally we broke up. Now we are enemies."

What is love - intimacy. This syndrome is what I call the morning-after syndrome. We wake up and find that intimacy is not really there. The sexual relationship does not satisfy us anymore, and what we end up with is not what we really wanted in the first place. All you have is two self-centered people seeking self-satisfaction. The elements of genuine love and intimacy cannot be obtained "instantly," and you find yourself in an unbalanced state, searching for harmony.

Intimacy means more than the physical.

Each of us has five significant parts in our lives. We have:

The Physical,

The Emotional,

The Mental,

The Social, and

The Spiritual.

All five of these parts are designed to work together in harmony. In our search for intimacy we want the solution today, or yesterday. One of our problems is that we want "instant" gratification. When the need for intimacy in a relationship is not met, we look for an "instant" solution. Where do we look? Physical, Mental, Social, Emotional or Spiritual?

It's the physical. It is easier to be physically intimate with someone than to be intimate in any of the other four areas. You can become physically intimate with a person of the opposite sex in an hour, or half-hour - it just depends upon the urge! But you soon discover that sex may only be a temporary relief for a superficial desire. There is a much deeper need that is still unmet.

What do you do when the thrill wears off and the more you have sex, the less you like it? We rationalize it by saying, "We are in love. No, I mean really in love." But we still find ourselves feeling guilty and unsatisfied. On campuses all across the Country I see men and women searching for intimacy, going from one relationship to another hoping, "This time will be it. This time I am going to find a relationship that will last."

What is love - intimacy I believe that what we really want is not sex. What we really want is intimacy.

Today, the word intimacy has taken on sexual connotations. But it is much more than that. It includes all the different dimensions of our lives - yes, the physical, but also the social, emotional, mental and spiritual aspects as well. Intimacy really means total life sharing. And haven't we all had the desire at one time or another for closeness, for oneness, for sharing our life with someone totally?

The fear of intimacy – afraid to be loved?

Marshall Hodge wrote a book called Your Fear of Love. In it he says, "We long for moments of expressions of love, closeness and tenderness, but frequently, at the critical point, we often draw back. We are afraid of closeness. We are afraid of love." Later in the same book Hodge states, "The closer you come to somebody, the greater potential there is for pain." It is the fear of pain that often drives us away from finding true intimacy.

I was somewhere after one of the meetings, a woman came up to me and said, "I have to talk to you about my boyfriend problems." We sat down, and she began telling me her troubles. After a few moments, she made this statement: "I am now taking steps never to get hurt again." I said to her, "In other words, you are taking steps never to love again." She had thought I misunderstood, so she continued. "No, that's not what I am saying. I just don't want to get hurt anymore. I don't want pain in my life." I said, "That's right, you don't want love in your life." You see, there is no such thing as "painless love." The closer we come to somebody, the greater potential there is for pain.

I would estimate that you (and around 100 percent of the population) would say you have been hurt in a relationship before. The question is, how do you handle that hurt? In order to camouflage the pain, a lot of us give people what I call the "double-sign." We say to a person, "Look, I want you to come closer to me. I want to love and be loved . . . but wait a minute, I've been hurt before. No, I don't want to talk about these subjects. I don't want to hear those things." We build walls around our hearts to protect us from anyone on the outside getting in to hurt us. But that same wall which keeps people out, keeps us stuck inside. The result? Loneliness sets in and true intimacy and love become impossible.

What is love?

What is love - intimacy. Love is more than emotions, and it is much more than a good feeling. But our society has taken what God has said about love, sex and intimacy and changed it into simply emotions and feelings. God describes love in great detail in the Bible, especially in the Book of First Corinthians, chapter 13. So that you catch the full weight of God's definition of love, let me present verses four through seven (1 Corinthians 13:4-7) to you this way. How much would it meet your needs if a person loved you as God says we should be loved:

> If this person responded to you with patience, kindness, and was not envious of you?

> If this person was not boastful or prideful?

> How about if this person wasn't rude toward you or self-seeking or easily angered?

> What if this person didn't keep a record of your wrongs?

> How about if they refused to be deceitful, but always were truthful with you?

> What if this person protected you, trusted you, always hoped for your good, and persevered through conflicts with you?

This is how God defines the love He wants us to experience in relationships. You'll notice that this kind of love is "other-person" focused. It is giving, rather than self-seeking. And there's the problem. Who can live up to this?

For real intimacy, we first need to feel loved.

For us to experience this kind of love in relationships we need to first experience God's love for us. You can't consistently demonstrate this kind of love toward someone if you've never experienced being loved in this way. God, who knows you, who knows everything about you, loves you perfectly.

God tells us through the ancient prophet, Jeremiah, "I have loved you with an everlasting love; and I have drawn you unto Myself" (Jeremiah 31:3). So God's love for you is never going to change.

God loved us so much that He allowed for Jesus Christ to be crucified (an ancient form of execution) for our sins so that we might be made clean. We read in the Bible, "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life" (John 3:16). When we turn to God and accept His forgiveness, then we begin to experience His love.

God tells us, "If we confess our sin He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9). Not only does God forgive our sins, but He forgets them and cleanses us.

What would it be like to be loved like this?

God continues to love us no matter what. Often, relationships end when something in them is altered, such as a damaging accident or the loss of financial position. But God's love is not based on our physical appearance or who or what we are.

What is love - intimacy. As you can see, God's view of love is totally different from what society tells us love is. Can you imagine a relationship with this kind of love? God simply tells us that His forgiveness and love is ours for the asking. It is His gift to us. But if we refuse the gift, we are the ones who cut ourselves off from finding true fulfillment, true intimacy and true purpose in life.

God's love provides the answer. All we have to do is respond in faith and commitment. The Bible says about Jesus: "That as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those that believe on His name" (John 1:12). God sent His only Son, Jesus, to die in our place. But that is not where the story ends. Three days later, Jesus rose from the dead. As God, He is alive today and wants to put His love in your heart. Once you accept Him, you will be amazed at what He can do in your life and in your relationships.

God's word tells us, "He who believes in the Son (Jesus Christ) has eternal life, but he who does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God abides on him" (John 3:36). What God wants for us is to have life, not only for today, but for eternity. If we choose to reject Him, then we have chosen sin's consequence which is death and eternal separation from Him.

It is the reception of Jesus Christ, receiving Him into our lives and trusting in Him, that brings our lives into balance. Faith in God unleashes the forgiveness of God. No more hiding, and no more going our own way. He is right there with us. We have peace with Him.

After we place our faith and dependence on Him, He takes up residence within our lives and we have intimacy with Him. His forgiveness is there to cleanse us from the deepest sin, the deepest self-centeredness, the deepest problem or struggle we ever had or will have.

Throughout the Bible, God's attitude toward sex is very clear. God has reserved sex for marriage and marriage only. Not because He wants to make us miserable, but because He wants to protect our hearts. He wants to build a security base for us, so that when we enter into a marriage, its intimacy can be based upon the security of God's love and wisdom.

Intimacy arises out of a sense of security and being loved.

When we entrust ourselves to Jesus Christ, He gives us new love and new power day by day. This is where the intimacy we are looking for is satisfied. God gives us a love that will not quit, and will not stop with the growing years and the changing times. His love can bring two people together, with Him at the center of that union. In a dating relationship, as you grow together, not only spiritually, but socially, mentally and emotionally, you are able to have an honest, caring and intimate relationship which is fulfilling and exciting! And when the relationship comes along which culminates in marriage, the sexual union can only enhance the foundation that has been established.

What is love - intimacy. In any of our relationships, knowing that we are loved by God, frees us to love others more genuinely. We are emotionally less needy. The jealousy, bitterness, and dishonesty that characterizes so many relationships isn't our only option. We find that we don't have to give into that. Instead, we can put aside the games, be truthful, and even forgive offenses. Put simply, as we experience God's love, it motivates us toward a different way of relating to others.

Would you like to know God and let Him lead you in your life and your relationships?

You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer. Prayer is talking with God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. The following is a suggested prayer: "Lord Jesus, I need You. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord. Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Take control of my life and make me the kind of person You want me to be."

Does this prayer express the desire of your heart? If it does, pray this prayer right now. Placing your faith in Christ will result in His coming into your life as He has promised. This will begin a relationship with Him that will grow more intimate as you come to know Him better. And with Him at its center, your life will take on a whole new dimension - a spiritual one - bringing more harmony and fulfillment to all of your relationships.

Knowing and experiencing God's love for you, you will be able to love others with God's love, which leads to a deeper level of real intimacy.